New Game...

Good day dear friends,

I'm not sure how I should start with this one... Well, I went out for date, a real date... Lets call this cutie, H. So what happen was this, we met each other online, and since his line was bad, he suggested texting each other. And so we did, from evening till late night along with an arrangement to meet the following day for a meeting. And so the day came and we met, unexpectedly in a dermatology clinic. Dear H was having some sort of a skin disorder at the time. And we shot out from there. To summarize it, we watched a movie, had 2 meals, a drink at the mamak (at my request) and a few sittings by some roads because the chatting never stopped. We just went on and on and on from family to work, school and life in a nut shell. Record timing for a date out of the house without sex, 10 hours. haha... And I am very proud to say that we are both very much into each other.



So, for a while now, I've been meeting him everyday and we never seem to stop talking either about one thing or another. A real sweetheart, (I say that about everyone right? haiz... this guy is different...) from the way he treats me and the way he sees things, matured i should say.
Even after 1 week plus of meeting each other everyday, we still have so much to talk about. And we can talk openly and whatever thoughts we have in mind and we will both understand it..

Anyway, I'm just lost for words at what to say about this wonderful guy... We both count ourselves very very lucky to find each other. I believe this relationship is going to be a long long ride.... Fun and exciting.... I will do everything I can to make this thing work and I will do everything for him, because I know that he would do the same for me.... So, until further updates....

A new adventure, with a partner whose company I will truly enjoy.... I love you...

Lover Boi

What Is and What Is Not...

Hi everyone,
Again, forgive me for the 2 weeks delay of my supposedly weekly update. So many things have been going on, exams, emotional stress and the naughts... So, lets try to figure out some of these issues...

Who shall we start with? Erm... Lets start with L. Yes, the same L we have been talking about for the past 1 month. The last I mentioned him was that we agreed on putting a halt to our affair. Well, what happened was, less than a week after our conversation in the car, he tells me that he misses me. I sorta like said that its better if you don't miss me so much kinda thing. He got very upset, signed off.. I tried calling him so many times immediately after that, he refused to answer. Said that he wanted to calm himself. About half an hour later, he sent me an SMS that put me to tears again, "I Love You". And I was video chatting with a new online friend, E of mine, whom we shall be talking about after this. So, the very next day I made it a point to go and see him, he tried giving excuses to not see me, I being as I am, insisted. I sat down outside his work place for about 3 hours, seeing him every 40 minutes or so for about 2 minutes. I was glad to see that he was happy and smiling again. And we started meeting again when he comes by and all. Just a few days back we went for breakfast together. By the way, all this things happened last week.



Next, let me introduce you to E, whom randomly found my profile online and wanted to be my friend. So we were chatting that fine day when L sent the SMS. I was having a good time with E, joking and laughing and socializing with him. So, when the SMS came in, I started crying and E, being the kind person he is, was advising me and consoling me. After that he started crying, telling me about his life and how difficult it is for him. We sorta shared our pains together. So, we continued chatting and all, I manja-ing with him. Hugging my pillow and he telling me that he wished that he could hug me and all... (He was watching me on cam) Anyway, when he finally added me on facebook and I saw his pictures properly, I realised that he wasn't my type and I was rather frank with him. Our friend took it so hard, he lost his mind and was contemplating suicide! Imagine that? Cause? Too many rejections. Thank God he didn't though, thinking of his mother and all. We continued chatting and many times he made some noise about how much I take account for how people look rather than their personality only. Throughout this one week, he chats with me, calls me, cries on the phone while talking to me and all. He suggested being BFF (Best friends forever) with me. I agreed to it, at least it'll make him feel better la. I will mention I have a date with somebody, J (another minor character in our story), he would go 'why you trying to make me jealous' and all. BFF he says? hahaha... Oh, I suggested meeting up some time after withdrawing my initial offer to meet (he was emotionally unstable, want me to die ar?!) when he was better, but he refused, scared I will reject him for being ugly (which I did not whatsoever indicate nor do I agree with). So this is E, a person who claims to love me and wants me so badly.

Now the minor character J, just a person I know online. Wants to take me out on a date, which I agreed to but is being canceled for the 2nd time now by himself, forgetful of more important appointments. He is unaware of my affair with L, and I'm not sure how to put it in words also. Btw, J is also not my type, but I already promised him a date, so I stick to my promise. I want to move away from L, but each time he says he misses me or something, I get drawn back to him just like that..

So this is where I am, stuck in the middle of a complicated situation. Happy to be involved so much in this epic drama, but abit stuck. L says he loves me, I like L very much, enough to say I love him but I am trying to move away yet not wanting to.
I know L and I is not right. E, no comments. J, not yet got himself involved with this drama. But I'm trying to see how things are going to work out, I don't want to rush my decisions and regret them later......

Complicated Fun? Complicated fun indeed.....

Lover Boi...

Out of Topic...

Hey dear friends...
I check my blog everyday, signing into the dashboard everyday, only to give up typing the latest update... I am currently in a situation where its difficult even for me to decide what is and what is not.... To fix it all up in a puzzle and put it down here is.... too much of effort I should say for the time being.. I'm not sure of my decisions, so I cannot just write the story just like that... I'll try to get it up by the end of the week hopefully... Please forgive me... Love you all...

take care...

Yours Sincerely,
Lover Boi

Complicated Fun....

Hey guys, sorry for the long silence. Was wondering how to put whatever that happened in words while it was happening. Too many uncertainties.

Well, to be honest, the part I left out is that L, is already in a relationship with another guy whose given everything he can for his relationship. So we all know what I was, the most hated of all...

So through this few weeks, it was all a complicated story. Whether I mean something or not, is his BF and him working out or not, whats going to happen... Who am I to him? Who is he to me? I was thinking of him everyday, every meal and all by the time I was thinking of all this mind you. In love, probably...

Anyway, tried ending it once, cried my heart out because what I did was hurtful, for the best, but cuts deep. Regretted the next day, apologised and all, and a few days later, we were back together again. Couldn't take it that we were parting from each other. So we were still texting and meeting for drinks and all like before. (of course I gave conditions that I don't want him to leave his BF just like that and all la of course)



We met a few days back, to go for dinner, then we went driving in his car. We didn;t do much, was late, couldn't spend much time together. We met the following day again, went to his place, picked him up and off we went to the park for a long walk. When we got back to the car, wanted to kiss him, but he didn't want to. (we did kiss in the park though). To me, it was like, whats going on? A change of heart? I asked him what he wanted at the end of that ride back, and we ended out little 'affair' there, simply with a hug, that hug that meant so much to me... That assured me that everything would be ok. (sad....)

Today, we still text each other in the mornings and all, never chat because of his bad internet connection. We still miss each other, he suggested that we let things happen naturally between us. How is that? I wouldn't know. But yeah, thats the story of L and me. The 5 year Chee Cheong Fun deal is still on though.

So what am I now? Square 1 again, sitting in front of the computer, chatting with new friends, studying at the side, hoping that someone whom I like would turn up to turn my world upside down again. Till then, I need to be strong and hold on to myself. Alone again.
Nothing's ever easy..... haiz...

Lover boi

Chee Cheong Fun.....

Hello everybody, everybody, everybody!!! Come on everybody everybody...!!
Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa... Pa...... Pa pa pa pa..pa......... hahaha...

So, who is this Chee Cheong Fun? Simple, this chee cheong fun is the guy that I really really like and think of everyday nowadays. The guy I stay up late with just to chat and share thoughts.... Chee Cheong Fun was the thing that got us together.

Anyway, yeah, this guy is called L, from my last entry. We've already met quite a number of times. Just the other day, we met again for supper around 11pm. Missing him so much, and he me as well, he decided to ask me out for dinner unexpectedly, I called him for recommendation and he suggested dinner together. And so it was set, he drove and I followed behind from Timesquare all the way to Hulu Langat Hill. That area he took me to was so closed up and hidden, little did I expect to see so many people there. Anyway, we had out supper and dinner at this place called 'Look Out Point'.



One of the most romantic places I've ever been to. The view there... wow...



After our meal we went up further up the hill to enjoy its beautiful view... tried taking a couple of pictures there, the pictures didn't come out well, too dark. Anyway, while we were talking down from the spot.. This feeling of comfort and happiness indulged me. To be walking next to such a nice and cute guy... So loving and understanding. We kissed on our way down. (and in the car before we both drove down the hill, took advantage of the dark surroundings....hehe...)

What made me most happy was that I could feel his feelings for me in the hugs and kissing that he gives me. I hugged him tight, wishing that I never had to let go, and I could feel that in his hugs as well... Our foreheads touching and nose rubbing against each other, hands holding his face, looking him in the eyes. The words weren't necessary anymore, all was spoken in that moment.

We both knew what was being said...

Lover Boi..

UP...

Hey there people,

A few days ago, after school (more like during), a few of my classmates and I made a trip to KLCC to watch a movie, and (thanks captain obvious) turned out to be UP. I've heard and read a little about UP before, a married church go-er whom I am acquainted with, share something with us about her devoted husband who gave up as much as he could to be there for his family, his job, his time, ever since schooling days till the time they had their first child. All for the love of his wife and kids. And she mentioned that he was always trying to help her achieve her dream, UP made her realise that and like Elle, her dream was to be with him and she wanted him to start his own adventure.



So, that was what was driving me to watch UP so much and I finally managed to after about a month of waiting. I've asked the ex, before we broke up to lend me the CD and if possible watch it with me......the day never came...... (sigh...)

Anyway, I watched the show none the less. Though not with the company I expected, but it was good. And close to the ending, it was there, the part that I was looking forward to (I didn't know what it was at the time), when the Carl opened Elle's adventure book and saw pictures of him and his wife there throughout their marriage and life. The most touching part was the few words she had there for him after all those memorable pictures, "I've had my adventure, now go get a new one" (not sure of the exact words, if I recall, this is what it said la). Go get a new adventure of your own.



Almost cried then, even after the show I almost broke down. But like Eric (Takashi) says, time to move on. Time to get myself a new adventure. Worth while movie... Really touching....

Lover Boi

No More...

Dearest readers, happy and unhappy,
Here I am, standing at the end of doubt. For now, it is settled. The ex' is definitely out of my game. I wish him all the best in what he does and the person he is with.

As for me on the other hand, I have my life to look at, a nearer and further future to look at.. Again, these feelings are into the recycling bin. Hopefully when the right amount of time has passed, all these junk can be thrown out.



Well, regardless of what the outcome of whatever uncertain hopes there were, life still goes on either way. Even if he did ask me back, I would have to consider, since he didn't, I have nothing to lose still.. Its a blessing to know such a boy though, so fragile and so loving. Maybe whatever happened is for the best, after all, what is meant to be will be (though we can make what we want happen).

But never mind all that, lets not cause anymore trouble than there is. A decision has been made, the only option available is to stick to it. Though I am always there just in case I am needed. I hope I stay that way, wiser and smarter than before..

Lover Boi