Dearest readers and friends, it has been way too long since I've delayed the answering of the most important beginning of my blog postings... THE REASON...
Well, this was how the story went... There was this day, one of those days when there was 'drama' at home regarding me... The main actors in this drama were my mom and sister if I've not forgotten... ar... I remember it now... My mother used to cry everyday, of course I was never aware of it... Neither were the rest of my family.. But then my elder sis who sleeps with mum every now and then would notice.. Then she'll come to me and say that its my fault 'Do you know mom is crying every night because of you?' That is what I will normally get.. I've explained to mom and sis before that this is who I am... Mind you this explaining and arguing argument happened a few times and the main one lasted for a few hours... Weren't the easiest times for me.. Back to the top, I would then approach mum and ask her whats wrong... May I say, I am not the type who delays facing social problems... Especially when it comes to relationships.. Better to have this kind of thing fixed fast is what I believe..
Anyway, mum would say that its not me, its herself.. After I start arguing with her for a while... But then she would then blame me for making this choice, this and that.... And then she would say its not me, its her... I would be like WTF? Of course I'll never say it out loud, but then... And may I say this wasn't the first time such things have happened... I cannot run to the boyfriend and tell him that now can I? I would be no different from my mother who blames me but says its not me but her... I've spent too much time crying into my pillow and hoping for a better future... To keep all that sorrow inside... Even as I type this, there are tears in my eyes... The question that came to my mind was, who do I turn to? Friends? I don't complain about anything... I don't like to complain... Too proud to take pity from others... I don't know what to do with that pity as well... My boyfriend? How can I mention this kind of things to him... I don't want him to leave me... But then I still tell him when he insist... It'll make him feel guilty, yes, but then...haiz.. I dunnoe anymore. Where else can I turn to if not to you people who are willing to listen to my sorrows... That is why the name of the blog in friendster was called No Where Else... I really have no where else to turn to.... All I can do now is turn to you and cry on your digital shoulders, hoping that someone actually listens to me....
I'm sorry, this posting is quite emotional.. Thats why I tried to delay it a little more.. But then, sometimes its just so hard to keep it in any longer...... Thank you for listening dearest readers and friends...
Lover boy...
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ReplyDeleteThere is one place where you can turn to - head to the church and seek guidance and wisdom from God himself. Its his "house" after all. Why don't you spend time and pray. I am sure God works in a mysterious way. We may debate all about it in class. He shall shed some light and maybe upon it , you'll see which path to choose
My opinion you ask , my humble one. I don't know much bout your boyfriend , so I can't say much. If he's the guy who is willing to listen , then why not - Kindly feel free to talk to him about this. Firstly , it makes you feel better , it eases the burden. Secondly , you could seek some advice
Alas , where was I..Uh yeah , just have a moment. Close your eyes and feel right. I do know how it may hurt your parents. But if you have time , just ask and have a heart to heart talk with your mum and see. Try to get what she is thinking and so
Try to combine these three. It made me feel better when I opened up about my gf in facebook. That's the reason why I created facebook in the first place !
Forget to add
ReplyDeleteYours truly
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P.S - Feel free , we are serious friends. I may mock and talk bad in front of people or make fun of things. But then deep within me , there is always a good friend that someone can turn to !
P.S #2 - Start making money with your blog as well . Part time income since you plan to do something related to business world !