Inconvenient Truth

Hey there guys and Atiqah (hahaha...),

Well, yesterday was a long day at church, they had this full day adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and different groups were taking turns to spend time there to pray. I was, well, outside the building itself having some serious and also not so serious discussions with a priest-to-be and my godfather.

After spending along while digging as much as I could from Bro. G (the priest to be) about his decision to be a priest ( from successful multimillionaire lawyer to give up everything , its bound to draw your attention isn't it? ), and so I manage to get the story I wanted to hear, but then talks from him as the subject somehow switched to me. And so I had to tell my story as it is, not had, I was completely honest with him even though it was our second meeting (surprising since I couldn't speak to any church person about this). He asked me this and that up to the most personal details of my life (every aspect), and he, like my godfather has mentioned before, concluded that a part deep inside of me, was having problems with my father, my late father's omission (the things he didn't do). Dad and I never really had a relationship, the day to day routine was, 'Morning Pa, Hi Pa, Good Night Pa'. Pathatic isn't it? But yes, that was it. I don't blame him, it was the language barier that stopped my father from talking and being with us. But then I do feel a little sad that we never really got to know each other.

Anyway, I never realised ( if what they say is true) how much this thing has influenced me. Bro. G says that it has led me to look for this affection from other sources. He kept asking me how I feel, but I could not answer he's question, not at all. I had a mixed feeling in me, never really took the time to sort it out. Whenever it came to my father and me, I just brushed it off. Remembering nothing happy of my father and me.

I never took my godfather seriously when he said it before, thinking that it was nothing since i've let my father go a long time ago, but then... If Bro. G could sense that I was angry inside, then there must be something I should do. Anyway, the plan now is to look at this problem and solve it. Perhaps then I could find some peace.

Lover Boi