Hey there Dearest readers,
Well, I quit my job last saturday... After 2 weeks and only 1 sale, yes, I quit my job... Thought I could get a better job to work with the sister's bf's company, however they don't hire people like me who can work but only half time because of the classes... Don't blame them though.
Anyway, I am now aimless and jobless again, and am hunting for a part time job again, with the same purpose as before, to generate more revenue and to save for the bf's education. So far, I called up one company, and OMG its another hotel thing again... I will most probably say no depending on the pay that is... If they can offer me something good, then perhaps I will excuse the job... But then another thought came to mind, the old company which I quit is willing to take me back if I need the job... I love that boss, its the job I hate... haiz... If only we could have the cake and eat it as well....
Anyway, wish me luck that things work out well for me k... I'll keep you all informed..
Ps: the bf and I are getting more and more loving and in love as each day passes....
Lover Boi
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Depression....
Good day dearest readers,
Well, I started my telemarketing job on Monday, got the Tuesdays off because of studies, Wednesday onwards was working days for me except Sundays. Simple job, 3-4 hours a day, call as many people as possible, try our very best to convince them to buy our product, RM538 membership for Grand Millennium Hotel, Kuala Lumpur. So far, I only got praises from my boss and colleagues but no sale. And to me, thats a terrible motivator. So far my boss has tried a few means to motivate me, reminding me that each sale is revenue for me, she even offered me a free Rm200 buffet voucher for 2 at the Hotel if I get my 1 sale, which I still couldn't get... Those kind of motivation have no effect on me to be honest, its just that I hate the job. It is not my thing..
My mother and my boss at the work place has been telling me that this is a good start to character building. But on the other hand, I keep recalling the words of a good friend of mine, 'If you don't like what you are doing, you will find excuses to not do it..' So I am in the middle of this dilemma.. The other side of the story is I need the money, even if it's a few hundred... And I want to save for my dearest boy, the love of my life... I wonder if there are any similar jobs, but regarding helping people with their problems... There is something called befrienders, but mum says they are on a volunteer basis... But lets try to check it out... I would love to do somethng like that, gives me the satisfaction to help people, and at the same time get some revenue... I don't mind if they pay little, but at least there is a satisfaction and of course I would like to earn some revenue of course... Any ideas?
Lover Boy...
Well, I started my telemarketing job on Monday, got the Tuesdays off because of studies, Wednesday onwards was working days for me except Sundays. Simple job, 3-4 hours a day, call as many people as possible, try our very best to convince them to buy our product, RM538 membership for Grand Millennium Hotel, Kuala Lumpur. So far, I only got praises from my boss and colleagues but no sale. And to me, thats a terrible motivator. So far my boss has tried a few means to motivate me, reminding me that each sale is revenue for me, she even offered me a free Rm200 buffet voucher for 2 at the Hotel if I get my 1 sale, which I still couldn't get... Those kind of motivation have no effect on me to be honest, its just that I hate the job. It is not my thing..
My mother and my boss at the work place has been telling me that this is a good start to character building. But on the other hand, I keep recalling the words of a good friend of mine, 'If you don't like what you are doing, you will find excuses to not do it..' So I am in the middle of this dilemma.. The other side of the story is I need the money, even if it's a few hundred... And I want to save for my dearest boy, the love of my life... I wonder if there are any similar jobs, but regarding helping people with their problems... There is something called befrienders, but mum says they are on a volunteer basis... But lets try to check it out... I would love to do somethng like that, gives me the satisfaction to help people, and at the same time get some revenue... I don't mind if they pay little, but at least there is a satisfaction and of course I would like to earn some revenue of course... Any ideas?
Lover Boy...
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
A Relationship eh?
I need to start shortening the intros. So that the posting will be short as well. Hope you guys understand.
I was having a little disagreement with my friend, D, the other day while we were chatting. He was telling me how he was in a relationship with this other guy, but then sleeping with other guys as and when he wants to. (they agreed in an 'open relationship' of some sort) Yes, he told me he loved his Bf.
This was so disturbing to me. Why would a person who was deeply in love with another, go have one of the most precious experiences that 2 people could have, with any (quote from P) Tom, Dick and Harry that he feels like sleeping with? Doesn't that in a sense, defeat the purpose of actually having a relationship to begin with? The reply I received was, 'you still young and fresh, you don't understand'
Maybe I don't, but there must be some lines in a relationship. What is a relationship if you're allowed to cheat? To sleep with any guy you feel like sleeping with? In my personal opinion, a relationship is something 2 individuals get into with each other, and put everything they can into that relationship. It is a process of giving and giving and giving, all while loving the other person, selflessly and sincerely. These 2 people, adjust their lifestyles, change a little, making a few adjustments here and there, setting priorities, so that the other can fit into each others lives. All this being done willingly, without being told to do so, in other words, being aware of your partner's consciousness and presence - Sharing The Heart and Mind Of Your Partner.
Taking each other as an end, and not as a means. Now, this is something I call a relationship.
Perhaps some of you may have something to add into this... Do feel free to share, and those of you who are interested in topics such as these, please do add yourselves as followers of my blog. Thanks...
Lover Boy
I was having a little disagreement with my friend, D, the other day while we were chatting. He was telling me how he was in a relationship with this other guy, but then sleeping with other guys as and when he wants to. (they agreed in an 'open relationship' of some sort) Yes, he told me he loved his Bf.
This was so disturbing to me. Why would a person who was deeply in love with another, go have one of the most precious experiences that 2 people could have, with any (quote from P) Tom, Dick and Harry that he feels like sleeping with? Doesn't that in a sense, defeat the purpose of actually having a relationship to begin with? The reply I received was, 'you still young and fresh, you don't understand'
Maybe I don't, but there must be some lines in a relationship. What is a relationship if you're allowed to cheat? To sleep with any guy you feel like sleeping with? In my personal opinion, a relationship is something 2 individuals get into with each other, and put everything they can into that relationship. It is a process of giving and giving and giving, all while loving the other person, selflessly and sincerely. These 2 people, adjust their lifestyles, change a little, making a few adjustments here and there, setting priorities, so that the other can fit into each others lives. All this being done willingly, without being told to do so, in other words, being aware of your partner's consciousness and presence - Sharing The Heart and Mind Of Your Partner.
Taking each other as an end, and not as a means. Now, this is something I call a relationship.
Perhaps some of you may have something to add into this... Do feel free to share, and those of you who are interested in topics such as these, please do add yourselves as followers of my blog. Thanks...
Lover Boy
Friday, April 3, 2009
The past me...
Welcome back dearest readers and followers. This entry is going to be about the past 'ME', not everything of course.. A little here and a little there, somethings that I used to be so sure of.
Here are a few characteristics that I for one used to have... Something that made me who I was at a time...
Happy-go-Lucky. The mindset of being contented with whatever that is in front of us, never saying that this is not enough or that is not enough. Never complain about anything, always happy in a sense. I had no goals, no dreams, no hopes (perhaps a little, but then never high) , whatever I got was good enough for me. Never had a worry in the world. People would ask me 'D, what you going to do later on?' the reply was always ' wait for inspiration la, whatever comes along comes la, cause I believe if I want, I can do anything' That was my concept from before, still is today, so highly confident of myself that I can achieve anything, what is lacking is the desire. So the idea was simple, if it happens, it happens.
What I want, when I want. I used to be a person full of myself that I could do what I want, when I want. ( Of course what I want was very simple, a few games of DDR, sitting by the road side and eating my favourite Tau Foo Fa or Rojak, cycling in the evenings) Yes, those were the things I used to do, nothing ever more than the budget of a few bucks. I never went for movies, never went shopping. Nope, my life was the simple kampung boy or less lifestyle. Simple person, mostly because I never had the means ( means = money), but still happy with what I had. Imagine RM150 can last throughout the month without a worry... Thats how simple and inexpensive I was. Very kampung.
Mummy's boy. I used to be very much as it says there.. Everything I did was with the mother (dun get the wrong ideas !! ) , going out for supper, shopping, yeah, those stuff.... Mostly because she is my mother, and when I got out with her, I get alot of things I can never afford on my own, especially good meals on request. Wherever Mary went, the lamb was sure to follow. This is also because of the instilled responsibility of being the only son in the house, and to help the mother whever I can. Whenever mum went to visit relatives and all, I was sure to follow. 1- I am the son, I represent my father. 2 - Thats the only way I get to go out without worrying about spending money. 3 - I go places that I normally wouldn't go.
Today, these things have changed, by quite a bit may I admit. I am no longer as how I used to be. Lets touch on the final one first, I dunnoe what to say on this... I think its time... Me and my times, and mum and her times...
Mum used to be a workoholic may I mention, she would work for hours and hours until late at night, imagine leaving at 7am and coming home at about11pm? There was a time mum used to come home a bit early when papa was alive. Even after that, she used to come home quite early, until that fine day when she got promoted. Thats when all the trouble started again, and the late hours were no longer unusual. I in my boredom, would actually go and sit in the lobby of her office waiting, several hours at a time, the least was 30 minutes. Then my bf came into my life, my attention switched to his cause now. Every day, mostly nights, i would be in front of the computer, chatting with him or just plain looking at him through the cam. Every now and then I would make a trip to his place or he to mine. (thank god we live near by). So, even when mum changed jobs, and started working for her aunty, coming home early and all, I barely talk to her. Occupying myself with the boy, or out some where... The saddest part, when I am with her also, we barely talk. I'm sure you heard the story in one of the blogs.
Weekends when mum is free, I am either at the boy's place, or doing something else, and when I ask mum to go out with me, she is always too busy, or tired. When she goes to the relatives place and all, I no longer follow her, prefering to spend time with the boy and all, not wanting to miss him. Even for a few hours. Thats how much I diverted my attention.
Happy-go-lucky? More like Happy-no-happy now... So sad, once without a worry in the world, today, wishing I had more money I could spend with the boy and for myself. Going here and there, wishing we could do this or that, but barely possible, due to my so so so so little allowance. Attempting to find a part time job to overcome this problem, but so far to no avail. The boy, he has to work first before he can actually finance his education, I feel so jealous that he actually is earning money, alot more than I get as allowance, and sad that I cannot also do the same to help lighten his burden. I too would like in some way help him finance his education, its not fair that he has to work to study and I do not.. I wish I could do something to help.
Now, I worry about everything, from what my family thinks and feel about me, to the future of what I am going to be, to help the boy achieve his dreams and keep him comfortable with minimum financial worries. Of course he would be working as well, but I want to be able to take care of him in sense... To be able to spend whenever we feel like it, of course I would still keep to my chinaman concept of being stingy. But then for him, anything I am willing to give... Thats what I hope my future would be like, some day. I hope some day, I will be able to.... I'm gonna start with a part time job if I can find one and start helping in whatever way I can...
Another part of me for your entertainment....OMG, I'm an entertainment..hahaha.... Nyway, tune in for my next post k... Thank you very much, my dearest readers.. Muacks....
Lover Boy
Here are a few characteristics that I for one used to have... Something that made me who I was at a time...
Happy-go-Lucky. The mindset of being contented with whatever that is in front of us, never saying that this is not enough or that is not enough. Never complain about anything, always happy in a sense. I had no goals, no dreams, no hopes (perhaps a little, but then never high) , whatever I got was good enough for me. Never had a worry in the world. People would ask me 'D, what you going to do later on?' the reply was always ' wait for inspiration la, whatever comes along comes la, cause I believe if I want, I can do anything' That was my concept from before, still is today, so highly confident of myself that I can achieve anything, what is lacking is the desire. So the idea was simple, if it happens, it happens.
What I want, when I want. I used to be a person full of myself that I could do what I want, when I want. ( Of course what I want was very simple, a few games of DDR, sitting by the road side and eating my favourite Tau Foo Fa or Rojak, cycling in the evenings) Yes, those were the things I used to do, nothing ever more than the budget of a few bucks. I never went for movies, never went shopping. Nope, my life was the simple kampung boy or less lifestyle. Simple person, mostly because I never had the means ( means = money), but still happy with what I had. Imagine RM150 can last throughout the month without a worry... Thats how simple and inexpensive I was. Very kampung.
Mummy's boy. I used to be very much as it says there.. Everything I did was with the mother (dun get the wrong ideas !! ) , going out for supper, shopping, yeah, those stuff.... Mostly because she is my mother, and when I got out with her, I get alot of things I can never afford on my own, especially good meals on request. Wherever Mary went, the lamb was sure to follow. This is also because of the instilled responsibility of being the only son in the house, and to help the mother whever I can. Whenever mum went to visit relatives and all, I was sure to follow. 1- I am the son, I represent my father. 2 - Thats the only way I get to go out without worrying about spending money. 3 - I go places that I normally wouldn't go.
Today, these things have changed, by quite a bit may I admit. I am no longer as how I used to be. Lets touch on the final one first, I dunnoe what to say on this... I think its time... Me and my times, and mum and her times...
Mum used to be a workoholic may I mention, she would work for hours and hours until late at night, imagine leaving at 7am and coming home at about11pm? There was a time mum used to come home a bit early when papa was alive. Even after that, she used to come home quite early, until that fine day when she got promoted. Thats when all the trouble started again, and the late hours were no longer unusual. I in my boredom, would actually go and sit in the lobby of her office waiting, several hours at a time, the least was 30 minutes. Then my bf came into my life, my attention switched to his cause now. Every day, mostly nights, i would be in front of the computer, chatting with him or just plain looking at him through the cam. Every now and then I would make a trip to his place or he to mine. (thank god we live near by). So, even when mum changed jobs, and started working for her aunty, coming home early and all, I barely talk to her. Occupying myself with the boy, or out some where... The saddest part, when I am with her also, we barely talk. I'm sure you heard the story in one of the blogs.
Weekends when mum is free, I am either at the boy's place, or doing something else, and when I ask mum to go out with me, she is always too busy, or tired. When she goes to the relatives place and all, I no longer follow her, prefering to spend time with the boy and all, not wanting to miss him. Even for a few hours. Thats how much I diverted my attention.
Happy-go-lucky? More like Happy-no-happy now... So sad, once without a worry in the world, today, wishing I had more money I could spend with the boy and for myself. Going here and there, wishing we could do this or that, but barely possible, due to my so so so so little allowance. Attempting to find a part time job to overcome this problem, but so far to no avail. The boy, he has to work first before he can actually finance his education, I feel so jealous that he actually is earning money, alot more than I get as allowance, and sad that I cannot also do the same to help lighten his burden. I too would like in some way help him finance his education, its not fair that he has to work to study and I do not.. I wish I could do something to help.
Now, I worry about everything, from what my family thinks and feel about me, to the future of what I am going to be, to help the boy achieve his dreams and keep him comfortable with minimum financial worries. Of course he would be working as well, but I want to be able to take care of him in sense... To be able to spend whenever we feel like it, of course I would still keep to my chinaman concept of being stingy. But then for him, anything I am willing to give... Thats what I hope my future would be like, some day. I hope some day, I will be able to.... I'm gonna start with a part time job if I can find one and start helping in whatever way I can...
Another part of me for your entertainment....OMG, I'm an entertainment..hahaha.... Nyway, tune in for my next post k... Thank you very much, my dearest readers.. Muacks....
Lover Boy
Former post - Well, this is how things came continued..
Dearest readers.. As I promised, how I came to know the first official BF… This was what happened, as usual thanks to the help of the many social websites I’ve become associated to, people add me up or I add people up in friendster…. Half of them I wouldn’t remember who… The other 40% I will remember for a week or so before I finally give up waiting for a reply… and the remaining 10% are the ones that become my friends, whom I take pride in knowing… Anyway, one fine fine day, a random guy just said ‘hi’ to me on MSN… not that its uncommon for me… and I said hi back… we started chatting the compulsory introductory conversations… (you know what I mean).. and then it ended… A week later, this same guy started chatting with me in the middle of the night… that was about 11 something I think.. And I being a smart ass easily influence by a good conversation, played along and actually enjoyed myself chatting with this guy.. The funny thing is, that night, the chatting wasn’t about social chatting anymore… I like most of the time, was horny… And so was he.. We were like flirting with each other all night… This carried on until the wee hours of the morning about 4am I think… OOO… I forgot to mention, I asked him from which website he managed to get my email from since I don’t remember giving it to him… ( Hey! I’m no silly feller simply giving out my email to people ok… I give it to people whom I find interesting and want to know better…) Anyway, he then told me a funny story… He said, his friend in the interest of helping him, decided to create an account for him in a social website.. Found my name, and added me into his Msn… therefore, I call this incident of knowing him, a very lucky meeting…
back to the story, so.. we felt like how people feel when they like someone new… But then unexpected words seem to have come out.. He said that he felt that we were boyfriends already.. I being so facinated and mesmerized by this coincidence, also tried to avoid such an incident.. He started saying that he loves me and all.. And I was abit scared to say what I do not mean… Anyway, I liked him, and so I asked him just before we went offline, whether this was how we started.. And he said YES.. And tada. Thats how things started off… We met a week or so later… Only met a few times throughout our whole period together actually.. This guy is from Ipoh and I never get the chance to see him often… However after a while, I started to lose interest… I have said things I shouldn’t have said during the relationship… but then as you guys sure have heard before, love blinds people or something like that… Anyway, we broke up after a while.. I just stopped replying him and messaging him.. Waiting for the right time and situation to tell him my intention… That day never came along until I found my current BF… I couldn’t wait any longer to tell him, it would be unfair to him… And so, thats how that relationship ended… and a beautiful new one started… I’m sorry I’m not saying much about what happened in our relationship, its for personal reasons I don’t want to mention these things… Hope you readers may forgive me… What I want to focus upon, is telling you guys about the current relationship and all the drama that we had to go through… which, I don’t think I will finish in one posting… and like before, many incidents I will not include in the postings.. But I do promise some incidents that are sure to catch your attentions.. haha..
I suppose thats it for this ‘episode’ of my interesting love life… for those of you who couldn’t find the last posting, please type ‘time to let go’ into the box at the side of the screen… I myself am not sure where that posting went… haha… Anyway, stay tuned to the interesting story of me and my life…
Lover Boy
Former post - Well, I believe its time to let go.
Let me begin my story with a little history… I am a simple mixed race boy brought up in a family that speaks English, except for the Father. Sent to Chinese Primary to ‘educate’ chinese into me.. Which succeeded mostly. Continued in Malay Secondary due to hate of Chinese. Anyway, the story everyone has been waiting for.. The Gayhood.
At the age of 11 or 12, I always had a fascination on other guy’s private. I always thought it was.. well.. interesting. This fascination carried on to secondary school… I had crushes here and there… Watched gay porn and all… Even got caught once by mom at around 13 or so.. Anyway, she ignored it after telling me off. When i was 14, I started getting close to guys that I thought was…’interesting’ at the time… Most of them were younger… Always wanted to be near them and chat with them and all… This carried on until one day when one of them actually spoke to me about sex, and then things flowed until he ended up my boyfriend for a while. Until we fought over something and then things stopped for a while… At 16, it started again.. The same guy, we got back together and all.. But it lasted only for a little while again.. However this time, it struck me.. That I AM gay.. or at least had the option of being one.. WHich never left my mind ever since… I had a girlfriend here and there, looked at guys and all.. and things just stayed that way… Every now and then I would tell my friend, I want to be gay, or i give up being gay… Those were the childish days of course, at 17. 18th birthday came, and then I came into full consideration whether I was gay or not… I did so many researches here and there to help me decide.. Many of which actually did indicate that I am what I am.. But I just couldn’t accept it.. DIdn’t want to allow myself to be like that.. Talked to a few friends about it, had some direct questions thrown at me… But I chose to ignore them and not answer… Not because I am afraid or anything, but because there was a sense of uncertainty. By then I had already joined a website and friendster of course, both of which allowing me to gain access to the gay community, with the initial thought of learning what gay is… I even started meeting people from these websites… Some even traveled some distance just to meet mem which I am very grateful of… One day, I just thought about it more and more… And finally justified it with myself, that I wouldn’t be what I am if it wasn’t meant to be… And so, the official Gay David came to be..
Met one person after another, all telling me that I should have sex.. Some even thought me how to, verbally of course… Some made fun of me that I was still a virgin… I never actually wanted to rush directly into it.. Behind my mind, everytime they asked me what role i was, thought to myself, I dunnoe, both seems fun… Anyway, yeah… That was how everything started to begin with…
Our next episode will be on how I came to know my first official gay boyfriend… Stay tune in this story of mine, as it becomes more and more interesting… before I finally reveal to you readers, why i started blogging..
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