Greetings dearest everybody,
The last I updated you was on latest quarrel, immediately after the quarrel actually. I was crying while I typed it.. Well yesterday, the boy and I met and talked it out.
It was a whole "both mad at each other talk' , keeping a distance, not even close to touching each other or holding each other. We talked and all, I explained my part of the story and so did he. Then the silence covered us again, both had nothing to say. In the end we started hugging each other, thought of kissing him but then hesitated. I was afraid that, that may have been the last time I kiss him. And if I do break up with him a few hours later, I don't want him to think that I took advantage or that he kissed me for nothing. That was what was in my mind and that was what I told him also. He said he didn't mind if that was our last kissed.
I poured out everything in my heart. I didn't look him in the face, didn't kiss him back when he kissed me. I just told him about whatever was in my mind. How much I gave in this relationship. I gave him everything I had. I held nothing back. My whole heart and mind went into this relationship with him. All in tears. He hugged me and comforted me. He too started crying after a while, he felt so much worthless, like he meant nothing to anyone, like he doesn't matter to anybody. I hugged him even more, and reminded him like how much he meant to his family and his friends. Especially to me, he meant everything to me. I reminded him of how much he meant to me. How much I wanted to be with him. In the end, we were both 2 boys, crying in each other's arms.
That moment, he reminded me again why I was still with him. Why I love him. He said he didn't want my sympathatic love. Told him that I am with him because of sympathy ( joking of course ), but I loved him genuinely. And now, we are both ok again. Honestly, I don't know if I can take fights like these every week. May die sooner than I know it. Haha... Did I mention he fainted during our chat? Yes he did, it was hard enough being upset, to make me panic as well. Haiz... But in the end, what I want to say is that all this is part and puzzle of a relationship. Like a cradle, rocking back and forth. Only thing we can do is, try not to break the 'bile' till the cradle falls.
Lover Boi...
I poured out everything in my heart. I didn't look him in the face, didn't kiss him back when he kissed me. I just told him about whatever was in my mind. How much I gave in this relationship. I gave him everything I had. I held nothing back. My whole heart and mind went into this relationship with him. All in tears. He hugged me and comforted me. He too started crying after a while, he felt so much worthless, like he meant nothing to anyone, like he doesn't matter to anybody. I hugged him even more, and reminded him like how much he meant to his family and his friends. Especially to me, he meant everything to me. I reminded him of how much he meant to me. How much I wanted to be with him. In the end, we were both 2 boys, crying in each other's arms.
That moment, he reminded me again why I was still with him. Why I love him. He said he didn't want my sympathatic love. Told him that I am with him because of sympathy ( joking of course ), but I loved him genuinely. And now, we are both ok again. Honestly, I don't know if I can take fights like these every week. May die sooner than I know it. Haha... Did I mention he fainted during our chat? Yes he did, it was hard enough being upset, to make me panic as well. Haiz... But in the end, what I want to say is that all this is part and puzzle of a relationship. Like a cradle, rocking back and forth. Only thing we can do is, try not to break the 'bile' till the cradle falls.
Lover Boi...
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